I’m driving home tonight listening to the truly terrible new sports radio station that’s been on the air for a couple of months. The hosts are comprised of a newspaper columnist who has neither a voice nor a face for radio (the face is worse), and a guy who was canned from the other sports radio outfit in town.

Their topics typically range from the mundane (”If you were the Blazers GM, who would you draft?”) to the inane (”Why we’re glad we don’t work at that ‘other station’ anymore”).

But tonight’s topic veered into the insulting: “Who is American enough to sing the national anthem before the baseball all-star game?” This became the topic after they realized that Sheryl Crow was to perform it. One of the hosts called her the most un-American person out there; the other host asked if she were worse than even the Dixie Chicks.

Their point was that anyone who speaks critically of the president apparently is not American enough to sing the national anthem. Then they opened it up for calls. They asked their audience to phone in and give their opinion on who’s got enough American cred to sing the anthem.

First caller: I think the Dixie Chicks would do a great job. Just because they speak their minds doesn’t mean they’re un-American.

Audience: 1, Dumbass Hosts: 0

Caller Two: I wouldn’t call them un-American. They have a right to say whatever they want about the president.

Audience: 2, Dumbass Hosts: 0

At this point, the hosts began to backpedal. “I’m not saying they’re un-American. But they’re unpatriotic to say stuff like that. Especially in a time of war, you can’t be saying stuff against the president and then go sing the national anthem before the all-star game.” Nice distinction.

Caller Three: As a veteran, I think it’s our duty to stand up and speak out when we think our government is doing something to hurt our nation. It’s unpatriotic not to.

You get the idea. The audience was having none of the hosts’ bullshit. Apart from being stunned at how fundamentlly near-sighted the jocks’ argument was, I was even more confused as to what their point was. They claimed that the fans would find unacceptable anyone who was critical of the president or his policies, singing the anthem; since this game is played on a national stage, Major League Baseball had to appeal to the majority of fans. But the latest polls show a 69% disapproval rating for Bush. So it seems that picking a singer who’s critical of him would be the perfect choice. For the record, the hosts thought Hank Williams Jr would be a great choice.

I really need to start listening to a different radio station.